She’s leaving, that girl who lost herself in the expectations of others…
The one who didn’t remember her worth, her light or that she is made from the stuff of Angels.
She’s leaving, and taking with her all the old beliefs of not enoughness,
The memories; good and bad, of the people and experiences that shaped her world.
The ones that told her heart it wasn’t safe and filled her mind with stories that kept her in the shadows…
She leaves slowly, it’s been a process for her and I to part ways…
Sometimes I feel her leaving and its most unexpected; a song in a store, and she leaks out of my eyes..
She quietly sneaks away in my dreams where illusion meets reality.
She pours herself into the pages of my journal.
She leaches out of the density of my bones and my joints ache… I know it’s her, saying farewell.
And sometimes she leaves with such intensity I push her out with my breath as I struggle to find balance.
She’s leaving, her time with me has come to an end,
And I surrender
As I glance in the mirror, I can no longer find her…
I lean into the old ideas and ideals we used to share and it feels misaligned… there is an emptiness now where she used to be.
I am learning how to fill it with love.
Allowing her to go has been the hardest thing for my mind to understand,
And the only truth my heart can tolerate.
I don’t know who I am without her….
So I ache and I cry and I breathe in honor of her.. the one that got me here.
The one that knows better than I that it’s time for us to part.
Time for me to become who I was meant to be all along, time to grow my wings and fly.
To release the illusion and remember…
Thank you dear one,
Farewell…… I love you.